Hey friends,
Welcome to this week’s letter, where we talk about strangers, the holidays, and the surprisingly liberating truth that… no one cares.
I don’t mean that in a gloomy eat your feelings over a stale fruitcake way. I mean it in the best, most freeing way possible. The holidays already come with enough pressure… Be cheerful, be social, be organized, be everything to everyone, including people you barely know.
But here’s the simple reality…. Most people are too busy juggling gift lists, surviving office parties, or figuring out why their smoke alarm only beeps at 2:13 AM to care about whether you said the perfect thing, hosted the perfect moment, or lived the perfect life, or even showed up at that party.
So relax. Take the pressure off. Be kind to strangers (they might turn into unexpected friends). Be easy on yourself (no one is tracking your performance). And let this season be less about proving anything, and more about simply being human and true to yourself.
Keep Shining,
~Tim
Table of Contents
The Man Behind The Curtain
Some people are only meant to be in your story for one page. And that’s okay.
In fact… sometimes that one page is exactly the one you didn’t know you needed.
A few days ago, I found myself in Bristol Hospital for 3.5 hours, just me, a chair, and a timer that ticked down in slow motion like it had a personal vendetta against my sanity. No, seriously…. Every 15 minutes the alarm would go off, I’d do the test, and then I’d reset that god awful timer. Basically, it felt like being stuck in a video game level designed by someone who clearly hates joy and had no desire to make an ending to said game.
On the other side of the curtain? An older gentleman doing the exact same routine.
Same beeps. Same tests. Same 15 minute countdowns… Except for one thing…. One thing that started to also wear on my sanity. He was 3 minutes and 48 seconds ahead of me.
How do I know that so precisely? Because when you're trapped in a room with nothing but a timer, you become a certified NASA-level time analyst. (I think I am going to add that to my resume, sounds pretty good. hahah)
After a couple cycles, I broke. I couldn’t take the competitive disadvantage anymore. So I blurted out:
“No matter what I do, I’m never going to win this race. You’re already 5 minutes ahead of me!”
He burst out laughing—a loud, genuine, hospital-echoing belly laugh. And just like that, the curtain wasn’t a barrier anymore.
For the next two hours, this stranger and I became best of friends. Trading stories, swapping advice, talking about life like we were old neighbors on front porch rocking chairs instead of two people racing a clock first thing in the day.
Then his timer hit zero for the final time.
He “won the race.”
He left 3 minutes ahead of me, just as he had the whole day.
And suddenly the room felt a little quieter.
What I realized in that moment is this.
Some people are only meant to appear in your book for a single page…
But that page can still matter.
That page can still change something.
That page can still make the whole chapter make sense.
A stranger is just a best friend you haven't met yet.
And kindness? It’s the quickest shortcut between two lives.
So keep turning your pages.
Let people step in and step out.
Let yourself be open.
Because you never know who the universe will seat on the other side of your curtain—or what they might bring to your story.
And what I will probably always remember about this man, other than his new love of Litchfield after leaving NYC, is how his life desire, what he mentioned at least 3 times, is that he just need to be sure he outlived his two dogs. While his house will be quieter and he will miss them. He couldn’t have them missing him, and feeling the confusion of a new home and new humans that would never love them the same way… So there’s that.
Embrace the Idea That… No One Cares (And That’s the Best News You’ll Hear All Week)
We spend giant, unnecessary chunks of our lives worrying about what other people think, what they’ll say, how they’ll judge, whether they’ll approve, and if they’re quietly ranking our life choices like Olympic diving judges holding up scorecards behind the scenes.
Then, almost comically, we get sad when those same people don’t care enough.
But here’s the little secret that flips the whole world on its head. A secret that I think most discover at a later age than they should…. Ready for this? Sit down, buckle up… Here it comes.
No one cares.
Not in the “no one loves you, retreat into a cave” kind of way.
More like: everyone is too busy dealing with the chaos of their own life to obsess over yours. (and anyone that’s not, they don’t deserve your energy anyway)
And honestly? That’s wonderful.
Because when you really let this sink in, you realize this.
What you do only matters to you.
Your life is your story. Your choices are your pages.
Other people’s opinions? They’re side notes written in pencil, forgettable, erasable, and usually based on whatever they’re carrying, not anything you actually did.
If no one cares, you’re free.
Free to fail without an audience.
Free to try without fear.
Free to try again without the imaginary panel of judges shaking their heads.
When you stop performing for the world and start living for yourself, everything opens up.
Your creativity. Your courage. Your next chapter.
The truth is, the moment you embrace the “no one cares” mindset, you get so much more out of life, because suddenly, you’re not living it for them. You’re living it for you. And you realize that if they don’t care, you don’t have to care if they care and then live a life of we don’t care all together.
And that’s where the good stuff begins. That’s where you get to live, your ways, for your soul.
Your Turn: Try Living Like No One’s Watching
Now what if this week you give yourself permission to live with the freedom that comes from knowing no one is keeping score. Do the thing you’ve been avoiding. Start the project you’ve talked yourself out of. Take the risk that scares you just a little.
And when that old voice creeps in, What will people think?, remind yourself of the truth…..
They’re not thinking about it.
They’re thinking about their own stuff.
So go do yours.
Try it for one day. One choice. One moment.
See how much lighter life feels when you stop performing and start living.
And if this message hit home, share it with someone who needs a little freedom today.
Sometimes that’s a question I ask myself too, so I get it. I’m not sure I have the full answer yet… Maybe at times, it’s hoping that a reader will find it helpful and share a link for someone else who needs it. Other times, it’s when I receive a message like the below from a subscriber referring to the previous newsletter.
Good Morning Tim, What don’t I want to miss today?
Continued blessings such as this that God (the Universe) sent my way when I needed it most that day. I just “happened” to walk to my back patio slider when I saw this gorgeous bobcat walk into my backyard and then sit in the sun for a few minutes and then proceed to lay down, enjoying the sunshine and light breeze and then groom itself before moving on. It was a beautiful moment in time watching nature at its best and reminding me to relax and take advantage of these brief periods when all is good in the world. A lesson learned way too late in life when I’d sadly spent most of it running at full throttle and stressing through it.
We are blessed to know you and enjoy your beautiful emails, B
As We Rapidly Fall Into The Holiday Season…
Please remember that for some, maybe even you, the holidays are a season of joy. A time filled with lights, laughter, traditions, and maybe even treats you only allow yourself this time of year, as well as gatherings that remind us how good it feels to be part of something.
But for others, and again, maybe even you, the holidays can carry a very different weight. They can be a time of quiet hurt, emotional exhaustion, financial stress, loneliness, or the sharp ache of experiencing a first holiday without someone you love.
The truth is, this season can bring out both the brightest and the heaviest parts of life. So please, move gently... Be kind. Be patient. Because we don’t know the battles someone else is going through. Especially the ones cloaked behind the perfected smiles and practiced laughter.
And if you are the one struggling, please please please know….
You matter. You are loved. You are needed.
And even if the darkness feels overwhelming right now, just wait…. Just wait a little longer because the light always returns. It always does.
If you’re struggling and need someone to talk to
Help is available 24/7.
You don’t have to carry this alone.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or text 988, or visit:
https://988lifeline.org
You deserve support. You deserve hope. You deserve tomorrow.
We are all on a road trip through life, and I guess if I could figure out how, my road trip would thrive off helping “strangers” on the daily.
I’m waiting,
